absurdity

i cant believe it.
i know that part about ______ was for me,
thanks for sticking up for me.
but...?

sigh.
the truest friends i've got are either in church, or in that other class.
the major reason why im so desperate to go up to express is
because of my present class.
cant stand the sight of that group of them especially.
somehow whenever i see them, vulgarities start spilling out.

its not what i want.
i dont want to hate anyone.
not at all.
and most of all,
i dont ever want to say another swear word again.
why is it so hard?

ever since that day when i got so
fed-up with bottling up my anger for them
that i said it out loud, it just spills out of my mouth like running water.
can someone just sew my lips together?

abby is irritated by herself.


the real truest friend i've ever got and will ever have: JESUS.








fake smiles, fake laughter, fake kindness.

sigh.