absurdity

PRESSURE.PRESSURE.PRESSURE.
PRESSURE.PRESSURE.PRESSURE.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *rips my hair out*

the reality of exams is really getting to me. ahhh. AHHHHH.
i've been slacking almost the whole year away,
and with all those people with high expectations of me...well, i dont want to disappoint anyone.
and its like so......QWERTYUIOLKJHGFDSXCVBN to have people asking you how to study, how this, how that, how i get my marks. and worse still, my grades are seriously dropping. GAH.

and i just saw something else that never fails to get to my nerves.
AUDITION RESULTS. and it'll be out soon. and i am so freaking out.

anyway. today was a really..weird-ish day.
we had afternoon programme for 10 minutes -.-
and guess what?
.
.
i was the only one there.

seriously. i cant believe any teacher would make us stay back for extra lessons (well, actually it's optional) and not even be there. and the english rep left after seeing that no one's interested and they are all leaving.
and she dumped the whole stack of worksheets under her table and ran off.

and for the first time in my life, i was attending a class without any students, or even teachers. just me and the pile of worksheets.well, after trying to do the corrections for ten minutes i packed up and left. and i was really irritated.

then tried to lock the door (with the key finally found after being lost for two days) .
but it wouldnt budge for some reason.
and i was afraid to break the key..(believe me, it's not uncommon to have the key broken)

ah. the rest of the day was resonably (and weird-ly) calm though. which is good.

ahh, getting late.
nights.



Dear God, please help me to just release and commit everything into Your hands, and help me to know that i can just totally trust in You, and not have to worry at all. Lord i thank You for today, as weird as it was, i pray that You help me understand that whatever im going through is for Your Purpose. in Jesus name i pray, amen(: