absurdity

i know i should be sleeping.
in like less then 24 hr's time i'll be flying~

i just felt like talking about some people i really admire( hopefully not envy or what..): )
first, there's Darren.
he has this child-like faith..and innocence(??)
i guess i really admire his heart for God.
and how God uses him..
he is always chasing after God's Heart..
yeah.

and then theres
the team a/b (?????) worship leader, kenneth.
yeah, i guess i admit im a little scared of him..
but now tt i think of it, i have no reason to be =.='''
he is really always seeking God,
and i think he influenced quite a lot of ppl..in a good way.
i dont know how to descibe but he has this Fear of the Lord..
yeah..and. yeap.

and i really admire them and hope that i will someday become like them? i really want that. i hope im not envious or jealous or anth like that but i really want God to use me in this particular ministry. i really want to have the child-like faith they both have. .


dear God,
please use me.
only You Know how i really feel.
i dont want to feel envious of others
for the gifts You've Given them..
Lord i pray You teach me how to be contented.
Please help me to Trust in You.
you know i want to sing for you.
i may not have the best voice,
or i may not play drums or guitar well,
but Lord i just pray that you help me find
that passion to serve You back again.
i know it's not long since i've joined this ministry,
and i had not and would not have been coming regularly for my Sound duties,
But Please Help me find that fire to serve You once again.
amen.



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